Tips to support your partner

Has Your Partner Come Out As Non-Binary? 5 Effective Ways To Support Your Partner!

Coming out of a closet is not as easy and exciting as you think it is. There is a lot at stake for a person who thinks of coming out to their close ones. Although the internet has given people the much-needed impetus to speak up, the unconscious biases of society make it insurmountable for anyone from the LGBTQIA+ community to fully open themselves up. This article is about 5 Ways To Support Your Partner.

Therefore, if you are dating someone, who identifies themselves to be an enby (Enby, being the spelling of NB, that is, non-binary), the first thing that you can do is get rid of all your conscious and unconscious biases. You need to comprehend that everyone is unique and each one has a right to freely express themselves. 

The next thing that you have to do is support them. They trust you enough to fully come out to you. So, respect their trust and create a safe space for them to feel comfortable. Telling someone the most innate part of them is an act of courage. So, be an ally of not only them but the entire community. 

While you are supporting them, make sure to let them know that your love and compassion have not changed at all. Most importantly, let them know that you are not going anywhere. You will always be there to support your transitioning partner no matter what happens. 

5 Ways to Support Your Partner

Here are 5 ways to support your partner that will make a hell of a lot of things easier for them:

1. Remember, your relationship is safe

If you are a cishet, that is a person, whose gender identity matches their sex and you are attracted to the opposite, it is normal to reconsider the status of your relationship with a person who is just identified as a non-binary. 

Under such circumstances, it is recommended to seek a therapist or ask your partner about the same. But, no matter what the situation is, you need to understand that your partner has not changed. They have just opened up another layer of their persona, remember he/she is still predominantly the same person you fell in love with.  

Support Your Partner
Support Your Partner

As mentioned earlier, coming out of a closet is the most courageous a person can do in life. So, maybe abstain from quickly asking about the status of your relationship with them. It might make them feel disconcerted and under a lot of pressure. Even they are just beginning to wrap their mind around this concept, so maybe begin with understanding non-binary people and then slowly advance from there.

2. Supporting gender identity through education

This is one of the most important steps to support binary and transgender people. Never stop educating yourself. This will save your partner’s time and possibly, avoid any discomfort from their side. Sometimes, it becomes difficult for non-binary people to explain their situation to somebody else as they are not fully convinced of who they are. Under such circumstances, it is better to educate yourself so that they don’t have to. 

When you do that, make sure that you do not push them to define themselves immediately. Respect their liminal space and try to understand it as much as you can. It is possible that they may feel a bit intimidated by the situation and even very scared. So, just go with the flow and be compassionate. 

The best way to support binary and transgender people is to learn about them through credible sources on the internet, watch certain documentaries and listen to podcasts from people of the community and their allies. 

3. Acquaint yourself with the lingo

You need to understand that gender is fluid. You cannot associate any person with the conventional pronouns, ‘he’ or ‘she’, unless they identify themselves with these. If they don’t, you need to ask them which pronouns will make them feel confident and more comfortable. 

Using the appropriate lingo will make them feel ‘gender euphoria’, that is a contented state when a person’s gender is affirmed. So, the best thing that you can do is respectfully ask them how they would prefer to be addressed sexually and romantically. It can be a little discomforting at first, but it is essential to clarify it. 

You can ask, ‘Hey babe, after doing some research on this, so is it okay if we have a conversation regarding the pronouns that you like to be addressed with? It’s okay if you are not ready right now, but whenever you feel like it, I am always here and ready.’

4. Be the ally that they want you to be

When your partner has just come out to you, you need to ask them what kind of ally they want you to be, especially in front of their family and friends. If they have come out to you now, then they will certainly come out to their other closed ones as well. 

In those times, they will ask you to stay beside them and be their moral support. So, ask them what role they would want you to play and also help in correcting pronouns when other people get it wrong.

5. Love them unconditionally

Support Your Partner
Support Your Partner

In the long run, your partner does not only want to be understood but also wants to feel loved. They were extremely vulnerable when they disclosed the piece of information. So, one of the best ways to support your partner is to place yourself in their shoes. 

Educate yourself, filter your language, develop an understanding for your partner and the community, be an ally, and have some empathy in your heart. By doing this, your partner will feel cherished when they are with you and no matter what, you will always be their sweet abode when life hits them hard. 

Recommended reading: How To Build Trust In A Relationship?